Belief Reframing

My last final exam for the semester was turned in on Monday, December 11, and I planned to depart for home that following Sunday. I was overly eager to fill my newly acquired free time and decided to sign up for a four-hour, leadership development workshop. Fun, right? Woohoo, free time!

The title of this workshop was “Emerging Leadership,” which although sounds a bit harsh, doesn’t come across as very informative. Upon reading the signup page for this workshop, I couldn’t piece together what we would be talking about, and thus my expectations were formed:

• 3.5 hours of a presentation
• 1 free sandwich during our 30-minute lunch break
• a couple awkward "networking" attempts
• a fancy-sounding certification for completing the program

and that's about it. 
I know what you’re probably thinking, though, “Emma, why are you being so pessimistic about this if you’re the one who voluntarily signed up for it?!” Good point - and you’re totally right - but to that I say:

Sometimes, I jump the gun before I’ve taken my final exams. 
Sometimes, I sign up for random things because you just never know - please see my experience of one year of pole vaulting in high school. 
Sometimes, I want to mix things up a bit.  
 
Successful or unsuccessful, this was an event that would give me something not graded to do on a day where otherwise I would’ve probably rotted in bed, and food was provided. Sounds worth it to me.

The speaker began explaining the ideology of this workshop. We were going to spend this time enhancing our understanding of ourselves to better comprehend how we show up to others in roles of leadership. Okay, classic start to a business workshop.

There was one diagram, though, that really stood out to me.

This diagram shows how our beliefs establish our behaviors, our behaviors fuel our results, and our results reinforce our beliefs.

So for a hypothetical example:

• If you have never attended an engaging workshop, you’d expect the workshop you’re at to be boring.
• If you believe the workshop will be boring, your behavior will likely be dismissive when you are actively attending the workshop.
• If your behavior is dismissive and you are unwilling to network and listen to the speaker, you’re likely to not feel engaged in the workshop. This experience reinforces your belief that workshops are unengaging and not worth your time.

You can see how this cycle would continue and reinforce even stronger beliefs over time. Now, in this example, everything would be fine and dandy if you have come to peace that every workshop you attend will be awful. Sounds like a guaranteed way to dread workshops, but this poses very little threat to your quality of life. 

But what happens if something more is on the line? What if because you’ve only had restricting and overbearing experiences, you avoid any practices of personal wellness. Your health suffers, your confidence drops, and your overall quality of life sinks. What if you feel like there’s nothing you can do to change, and this is just who you are and how your life will be? This is a dramatized example, however, it's an example that may be a reality for some. I'd argue that quality of life is much more important than a workshop. This is not a sustainable lifestyle that promotes joy.

Introduce diagram number 2, how to change your beliefs.

Beginning with the top block, identify the results you wished you had. Going back to our workshop example, you could say, “I wish I left the workshop with more knowledge and connections.”

Then, take some time to list to yourself the necessary behaviors to achieve those results. In this example, you could take part in active participation, showing up with an intentionally positive mindset, and engaging in conversation during any breaks.

This step is the most direct but most difficult, do those behaviors. Our beliefs develop throughout our lifetime and shape our behavior, so the more experience you have in a topic, the more difficult it may be to change your actions. Taking smaller steps in changing your behavior can ensure new habits stick. You’re unlikely to have an immediate change of mindset with one practice of the necessary behaviors, but over time you will begin to change your results and rewrite your internalized beliefs!

I’m sure there’s plenty of you out there who are reading this and thinking, “Duh, but why the heck do diagrams have to spell it all out for me?” There’s value in breaking down the process to clearly define your steps for success. Changing beliefs is a long-term process and can be daunting for people who are looking for high levels of change.

Learning this formalized framing made me realize that this is a technique I’ve utilized in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). By identifying the changes I want to make in my life, my therapist and I work together to list behaviors I am willing to undertake to begin the process of changing my internal beliefs. Although less formalized, CBT is a very similar process to the methods we practiced in the workshop, and my experience has been incredibly fruitful.

What I was expecting to be a dragging 3.5 hours became a reminder that I am in control of how my internalized beliefs are formed. If I put in the same effort, I will get the same results. If I want change, I have to be the one to consciously choose change, and the very same applies to you.