Childcare: Finding New Friendship and Realizing the Impact of My Influence

Today I stopped by the home of one of the families for which I regularly nanny and was met by a jumping 3rd grader excited to see my car back in her driveway. I excitedly scrambled out of the driver's seat as soon as my car was parked and asked one of my favorite questions to ask her: “Hi - can I have a hug?”

Throughout the past three years, I’ve built significant relationships with several families and have grown into what I would consider to be the chosen family of their young children. I began my experience in childcare when surviving through hybrid learning in 2020. During my online days, I would visit two families to lead their young, fidgety kids through virtual learning. We would complete any required work, and go about having our own fun drawing, playing outside, or giggling at them beating me in games. During that time, I experienced firsthand how building a friendship with a little person can be energizing, healing, and full of love for both of us. 

2020 was a hard year, without a doubt, but as an individual who always benefited from the challenge of the classroom and community at school, I specifically struggled when virtual learning became our reality. I, just like everyone else, was stuck at home bored all day every day staring at a computer with an infinite to-do list and a lot of uncertainty. I had a really difficult time focusing on my schoolwork, and I was losing my passion for learning rapidly. I would have been mentally preparing myself for my upcoming senior year, but nobody could answer a single question as to what that would look like. Sports in high school were some of my favorite things about life, and I didn’t even know if I was going to have a senior season. Unfortunately, a lot of people were experiencing this same anxiety.

When I started working with these kids, teaching them how to draw stars or read, I was reminded how much enjoyment I can find in connections with anybody, especially 6-year-olds. Hilariously, running around outside, climbing trees, and jumping on trampolines became my new hobbies during covid and were the very reasons I would get out of bed every morning. I found a mutual need for friendship and fun with the kids that was unexpected. At that moment, I had absolutely no idea the influence I was having on them, though. I was honestly just focused on getting their work done and having fun. 

A few weeks ago, my mom and I dropped off some locally grown strawberries for a family who hired me for a single day of childcare two years ago. They have two boys, the older of which who is autistic with very specific needs in terms of care. They were understandably anxious to be leaving the boys, and they were unsure how they would react to Mom and Dad not being around. I focused on creating a relaxed and flexible environment for the kids to play and divert their focus from the absence of their parents for those few hours. We got out Play-Doh, played catch, watched shows, and made art - all simple and fun activities with which their older son was familiar. We even had some of their favorite snacks! 

What I completely forgot about was talking with their younger son and seeing a Rubix's cube on one of their toy shelves. I picked it up and asked him if he wanted to see me solve it - a trick I learned on a family vacation before I had a phone. He excitedly said yes. I sat in front of him solving the cube within a few minutes, and I looked up to see his eyes wide in awe. He took the cube from my hands and asked if he could scramble it again to watch me solve it. We continued this for at least 45 minutes straight.

I had completely forgotten about this simple connection until two years later, I was meeting this same kid (though much older) in his driveway smiling with pride while his mom told me about his most recent speed-cubing competition. I asked him if he learned how to solve any of the other Rubix puzzles, and he excitedly ran inside to grab his basket of cubes of varying difficulty and other challenging puzzles. He proceeded to show me some of his favorites and solved them for me in his driveway. Our roles had reversed, though; now I was scrambling them for his little hands to solve.

I’ve heard and seen in so many ways the impressions I have left through simple interactions, and I had taken for granted just how impressionable young children are. Between regular visits with the kids, or just a single day together, we form a relationship, and I become a safe adult in their lives to guide them through learning and having fun. It's an absolutely priceless and rich part of my life. These kids will always remember me, and I've been honored to be such a special person in their lives.

I'm excitedly anticipating this summer because I get to spend it with one of the families I work for most often. Just while being home this summer, I've found myself spying for them while in church with my mom, and sharing a smile or goofy face when we make eye contact across the pews. After church, I get to ask my favorite question once again, and I'm thrilled to have another summer filled with building our connection.