The Next Edition

Through high school and college, I've noticed a personal pattern of growth. Every year seems to be marked with an "edition" of myself. I've met the Emma with her mind set on getting out of high school, the Emma enamored with the idea of college, the Emma who actually met college, and the Emma I am now. Every Emma has had her own level of struggles and successes, but I've hit a point of exponential growth.

I recently read Atomic Habits by James Clear. Self-help books aren't typically my choice for reads, but I'll be the first one to admit that the marketing team for this book won me over. Thankfully, it made to be a great gift - thanks, Mom - but there was a specific point in this novel that stuck out to me like a bold, front cover headline.

Atomic Habits covers the psychology and ideology of goal setting and creating habits, learned through the personal experience of author James Clear. Formerly a young baseball player, James recalls an intense injury that severely limited his ability to achieve his goal of playing baseball at the collegiate level. Through his personal tribulations, James finds success in goal-setting and healthy habit formulation. In his novel, he deconstructs what he has discovered to be the fundamentals and four laws of habits on a level easily understood by the average reader.

In Atomic Habits, I found myself drawn to James Clear’s discussion of how our habits are a byproduct of our identity. An example used by Clear is demonstrated by the habit of smoking. If you identify yourself as a smoker, you are far more likely to continue smoking. If you turn down a cigarette by saying, “I’m not a smoker,” you are consciously reminding yourself that the habit you would be accepting directly conflicts with your new identity, a nonsmoker. Your actions will either reinforce or reject the new identity you are claiming, and the identity will either grow a deeper foundation or fail to continue. While delving into this section of the book, I was welcomed to question my own identity. I was left wondering, “Who do I want to be, and what do I want to be remembered for?” 

Within the past two years, my sense of self has developed tremendously, and I have built the ability to understand deeper reasonings behind my behaviors. Both my timing in reading Atomic Habits and the new, unexpected friendships I have developed this semester have served as exercises for this self-reflection.

Just as this prompting question has allowed me to delve into my habits and current character, I’ve become increasingly aware of the influence my close social circle has on me. In my new friendships, I’ve grown closer to two people who deeply care about me and have worked to understand and support me through various challenges in my personal life. In questioning the whys of my life, they have empowered me past what felt like a wall of despondency. I have been supported through choices around how I want to spend my life, not just functioning to please others. They have facilitated the growth of my confidence as the driver of my own life.

If you ever get the chance to make friends with people who question why you make the choices you do, never turn down the opportunity. Creating more prompts to learn the whys of your life will grant you more awareness and power to become the individual you want to be. Of course, I say this as a young college kid, but sometimes you need a reminder that the life you want can only be made through the choices you make every day. I used to get so caught up in not being where I wanted in life, that I became blind to what I could do to make a change. I have come to learn, though, that taking just a single proactive step a day towards where you want to be will combine to miles of progress over time.

With the help of my new friends and a bit of time, I've reestablished to myself that I want to be remembered as a strong, kind, creative, loving, mindful, active, and knowledgeable person. I've come to understand how important it can be to pause and remember my intentions for life when going about my day-to-day routine, and how my habits have culminated in me being the person I am today. I am building my work ethic and moving towards becoming a more reliable person. I am designing a lifestyle aligned with my priorities, not the priorities of the people around me. I am over two months into training for my first half-marathon! I am devoting more time and energy to my classes and seeing results! I went on my longest road bike trip yet (26 miles)! I am prioritizing my growth personally, professionally, academically, and beyond.

 Although those of you who know me closely will barely see an external difference in who I am, I have found a stronger sense of fulfillment in how I am conducting my life. I am feeling more gratitude and appreciation for how choose to spend my time. I am empowered to act in alignment with the identities I want to become. These identities are mine. In this edition of Emma, my smiles are real, and I am happier than ever.